Relationship Litmus by Sairam Raccha

The prime reasons for any unsuccessful relationship could start with the person we choose and ignore all the red flags which eventually leads to heart break, you can protect yourself and your relationship if you have the right knowledge. As a part of my work in relationship dynamics, I have prepared below relationship check list called Relationship Litmus© from which you can find out whether your love life will be fruitful or venom as time passes. Each question carries certain weight and based on the final score we will caution with the toxicity of your relationship

Click here to begin the test

Never settle for less in Life & Relationship

We all crave love and affection, and when these things are combined with and the emotional support and affirmation that can come from a relationship it can be all too easy to make finding a permanent partner your main priority and goal in life.

This can cause many people to settle for a romantic partner that doesn’t quite complement their own personality and life, and isn’t quite up to scratch. The fear of being alone and the desire to find someone pushes lots of people towards being in relationships that aren’t really right for them.

There’s plenty more fish in the sea

How to Come Out Stronger After Heartbreak

“Moving on isn’t easy, but that’s the best gift you can give it to yourself rather than hurting.”

Do not think that life is finished as soon as the person whom you loved the most has left you unconditionally. Accept that you are not special to them anymore and this acceptance is the key to your healing journey.

HOW TO MOVE ON:

First of all, do not maintain any sort of contact with them. Stop stalking them on social media. Block them from everywhere. Stop finding excuses to call your ex. There will be lot of eagerness to know what they are doing with their life, but remember that’s none of your business. Knowing about them will only hurt you and it makes you to think more and more about them. Do not get into touch with their mutual friends either and if possible block them too.

When You Feel Lonely And Forgotten

Being human is such an incredibly strange experience. We often find ourselves feeling lonely, isolated, and cut off from others, even though at the exact same time we withdraw more and more from social situations. We crave our solitude and time alone, while simultaneously wishing that people cared about us more or showed us how much we mean to them. We wish that they would check up on us and show that they want to hang out and spend time with us, but push them away and close ourselves off when they do. Sometimes it feels like to be human is to be caught in a constant double bind.

Sometimes we feel Stuck

“Let no one who loves be unhappy, even love unreturned has its rainbow.” ~James M. Barrie

My first experience with unrequited love took place when I was a little kid at swimming lessons.

I developed a huge crush on one of the instructors. I don’t remember his name, but I remember the excruciating feeling of absolutely adoring someone who didn’t even know I existed. I wish I could say that this was a one-time experience, but it wasn’t.

Sadly, this pattern continued for many years. I seemed to have a radar device installed in my heart that would automatically fixate on the man least likely to return my affections and bam, I had to have him. Only it never worked out.

What are the lessons people learn after a breakup?

1. He/she was definitely not the one.
2. You start to love and respect yourself more.
3. You learn to give yourself more time and space.
4. You learn to never be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship.
5. No one, absolutely no one gives a damn. Some people are in fact happy that you broke up.
6. Girls are really strong individuals, emotionally.
7. Everyone should have a heartbreak, to know how to deal with people and their behavior.
8. People learn to form a wall and a limit to how much they can give. First time is the most childish and vulnerable you will ever be.
9. You will stop chasing guys/girls because you know now, it’s not bread and butter.
10. You will learn to express and apologies more often. Because your ego and attitude is of no use, once he/she is gone. You can wish you could have done this or done that earlier, but now it’s gone. It can’t be undone.
11. You understand people’s worth in your life is temporary. No matter how close he/she is. Priorities can always change.
12. Time is the ultimate healer. You will learn that nothing helps you better than time. Not only in love, but in all the difficult situations you face in life. You will learn to give it time. It will pass.

— Sairam Raccha

To The Person Who Emotionally Destroyed Me – Thank You

Imagine this scenario: a Man sitting on his bathroom floor, banging his fists onto the ground as he tries to silence his sobs, calm his beating heart and make sense of the breakup.

Now, what I want you to do is imagine my face. Because that Man on the bathroom floor was me. I was that Man after you emotionally destroyed me. After months and months of feeling not good enough. After months and months of you choosing other people over me. After you – taking me for granted.

And I want to tell you that I don’t hate you. Instead, I want to say – thank you.

Because after months and months of you emotionally abusing me, I realized that it is not that I wasn’t good enough for you – it was you. You were the toxic one.

I am finally coming out of that dark place that you’ve put me in. You no longer have power over me. I remind myself every single day of my worth and that I am enough.

I deserve better than your fake honey words that completely distorted my perception of true love. I deserve better than someone who takes me for granted and ignores me. I deserve better than someone who has broken my heart without a second thought.

It’s a not a Break-up but wake up

Only thing I can say is that there are other important things also in life. Love should be in give and take manner, both things are equally important. If you are not getting love or If you are able to give love, then need to quit that job relationship. Though is takes time but time heels everything. Only question is that time varies from person to person. Start diverting your mind and concentrate on other hobbies/activities you interested in.

Don’t Try To Make Someone Stay, Let Him go

 

      When you love someone who no longer wants to be part of your life, it hurts like hell. There’s no sugarcoating it.

When you’ve put someone first for so long, provided as much love and affection as you possibly could and bent over backward for a person who decides exiting your life for good is the answer, your heart will inevitably snap.

You’ll be filled with an overwhelming emptiness you’ll find near impossible to ignore.

Don’t consider this message tough love; I’m just telling you so you can brace yourself if this should happen to you, too.

So many of us try so desperately to convince that person to stay. Why?

Is it because you’re scared of a life without him or her? Is it because you’re used to him or her being there? Is it because you love this person that much?

Don’t beg: when to walk away from someone

 

 

Many people will go to great lengths and put up with a lot of hardship to keep their significant other around, or to try and keep the interest of a potential partner. If they’re not good enough for you, if they don’t value you like they should, or if they’re not interested – move on.

Too many people make the mistake of staying with a partner that isn’t good for them. Sometimes, this is because it’s too painful to let the relationship go after they’ve invested so much time and energy into it. Other times it’s because they genuinely think that their partner will be able to change for the better. It’s understandable – ending a relationship can be an extremely distressing experience, especially when you depend on your partner for emotional, financial or practical support, or you fear their reaction.